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(2011) Status and mating success amongst visual artists. Frontiers in Psychology, 21, 310.ĭating Scout ‘Dating Scout Profile Pictures Study’ Retrieved August 1, 2020, from. (2008) Romantic red: Red embraces men’s attraction to women Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 5, 1150-1164. (2014) Who finds Bill Gates sexy? Creative mate preferences as a function of cognitive ability, personality, and creative achievement. The Journal of Creative Behaviour, 0, 1-19. (1995) Evolved mate preferences in women: Psychological adaptations for assessing a man's willingness to invest in offspring. Dissertation Abstracts International: Section B: The Sciences and Engineering, 55(9-B), 4149. (2010) Red and romantic behaviour in men viewing women. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40, 901-908. (2013) The influence of position and context on facial attractiveness. Acta Psychologica, 144 (3) 522-529.From the beginning, my son wasn’t much of a smiler. We could never get him to do it on command. By the time he was one, Jasper looked either anxious or furious most days.
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Relatives, nurses, friends and strangers would try to get him to crack a grin, as if a serious baby was a danger, an affront to the definition of a child.
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“What does that little guy have to be so worried about?” a homeless man once asked while we were out walking a new city.Īt two, we took him to a photographer’s studio I thought that’s what parents were suppose to do-get professional pictures taken of their children to hand out to family members. Though the light in the studio was perfect that afternoon, and my son appeared to be glowing, I had trouble picking out pictures I thought my parents or anyone else would understand. Jasper appeared worried in all of them, his eyes looking away rather than into the lens of the camera. To calm himself, he’d study things like the rotating blades of fans or wires coming out of the walls. Looking back, I think he was trying to make sense of the world, a place into which he struggled to fit. At seven, after years of frustration and bewilderment, he was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Though his autism is not always visible, it is always there. Now at nine, Jasper still doesn’t smile for photographs. Often, he refuses to be in pictures at all. And while, for some reason, this bothers a lot of people, I’ve learned to accept it. And one to which most kids might respond by turning on their picture smiles, the ones they’ve been trained since birth to master. But my son doesn’t have that kind of cute forced grin. It’s caused some conflict during group outings, when my friends’ children pile onto picnic tables and look adorable, ready for a photo op. Everyone shouts for Jasper to get in the picture too, but he doesn’t come. For our annual family reunion, my mom’s dream is to gather all of her grinning grandchildren around her for a picture. Jasper’s refusal to smile, or worse yet to be present in the picture at all, is seen as a refusal of love and also, I suppose, ineffective parenting on my part. “Get in the picture,” I used to tell my son. “Get in the picture now!” Embarrassed, frustrated, and confused, I was always aware that people were watching.īy the time my son was diagnosed with autism I had given up trying to force him to pose for pictures. Demanding that my child act like other kids was exhausting, for both of us. At the same time, I was beginning to understand how being a parent meant helping my son be himself in the world.
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It meant supporting the particular choices he needed to make, even if those weren’t the choices of most other kids. Not too long ago, we bought Jasper a camera. At group gatherings he’s become our unofficial photographer. Have you noticed that? Likewise, no one stares at the actual person behind the camera. Everyone is too busy staring into the lens. When he’s taking photos, Jasper doesn’t count down from three. He doesn’t say, “Cheese!” or try to aim the camera from a flattering angle.
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